Grief lasts much longer than we're willing to admit. We live in a culture where it's expected that we get over it (better sooner than later!), where we are supposed to be moving on instead of, well, allowing ourselves to grieve when we need to.

But if grief equals love... how can we stop grieving when we still love?

The lovely words by Dr. Lucy Kalanithi (the wife of a deceased neurosurgeon and writer, Dr. Paul Kalanithi) come to mind as I continue to explore this question. Reflecting on her husband's death, she writes:

"It never occurred to me that you could love someone the same way after he was gone, that I would continue to feel such love and gratitude alongside the terrible sorrow, the grief so heavy that at times I shiver and moan under the weight of it. " — Dr. Lucy Kalanithi

As long as we love, our grief remains. Sometimes it does become a bit smaller over time. At other times, we just manage to build our life around it, so that it seems smaller.

In either ways, we carry on... ‍

"Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone," I read somewhere the other day. And I thought to myself: What a beautiful way to live—and grieve!

Kindly,

Neva.